Party

We’ve just returned from a week in Sussex. It was a miracle undertaking that only my Mother could possibly have pulled off. Twenty two relatives all in one place to celebrate my Grandfather’s 95th birthday. A three storey Edwardian house on the beach rented for the week, complete with beach hut and good weather seemed to have been booked just in time too.

Since our chief dog sitters were also present at the party we had to make the 400 mile round trip with one quivering Spaniel in my ancient jeep boot and another who didn’t know what the heck was going on and refused to eat all week. Harvey has never enjoyed car travel but gets in quite willingly in anticipation of a walk at the end. Riley loved the sea, the woodland walks, the lake swims, the fox poo filled meadows but it did nothing to entice him to eat more than a few mouthfuls a day. He’s home now and absolutely fine.

As is usual when dogs are involved M and I made alternative accommodation arrangements and managed to get a last minute barn some way out from the beach house but nonetheless quite perfect for us. M slept like he had never slept before so I found myself slipping out with the dogs quite early and taking advantage of beautiful meadow walks. Lots of things made me feel nostalgic including an abundance of Sweet Chestnut trees with their fluffy catkins, cobnuts (out now but ripe next month) and Jays. I have a tiny Jay feather in a box at home and M admitted he’d never seen one. Had he been up bright and early he would have done. Not that I minded, there’s something quite magical about early mornings in the middle of nowhere, with just foxes, birds and two dogs gathering up all the dew on their coats.

I was surprised and impressed that Jake decided to have a swim in the sea the minute he arrived in Sussex. He loved the sea in Spain and Italy but here it’s bloody freezing! I was less impressed with the giant inflatable flamingo he bought to float on, having visions of him floating out to sea. Not only were there plenty of family keeping an eye on him it was also a very safe bay and shallow for quite a way. Not a spot we used much when we lived in Sussex but definitely one that is becoming more popular judging by the smartly dressed couples walking along the beach with property details tucked under their arms.

I managed to finish my inside out crochet kimono cardigan with a few evening sessions. I decided that I needed one last year but couldn’t find a pattern I liked. It’s the sort of thing you need when you’ve been wearing a linen dress all day and then the sun goes down. When I started making it with only a vague idea in my head I was full of doubts. There are quite a few factors to consider with garments to achieve good drape. Both the stitch and the hook size provide drape for this cardigan and I shaped the three panels so as not to have to join sleeves afterwards. It seems to have worked out ok. It’s probably a bit warmer than is ideal since it’s pure wool. I thought the holes would mean it was less warm but no, it’s very warm! Just in time for the mini heatwave due next week. I mentioned to anyone who asked that the colours were dyed using nettle, ivy, cherry and weld and that seemed to provoke mixed reactions, some were amazed and some thought it was a bit gross, assuming that the wool would still smell. I’ve firmly cemented by reputation as a bit of a strange one.

One of the things that happens when you haven’t seen relatives for a while is that you get mistaken for your Mother. A nod to having let my hair go back to its natural colour I think, it’s obviously ageing, not that my Mother ever did (go grey) by the way. On the one hand I briefly entertained the idea of chopping it short again and dyeing it pink just to make sure that particular mistaken identity never happens again, then I woke up and realised that actually it’s often the judgemental, societal expectation that a woman under fifty at least should keep the grey at bay. Well stuff that. There are more important things in life.

Meanwhile back at home there’s so much to keep me busy. My Madder seedlings have shot up in just a week which is a relief because I thought they’d dry up and die while I was away. I’ve transplanted a few of them and whacked stakes in with a sledge hammer for wire netting to keep the dogs off whilst waiting for M to finish fences for the remaining three sides of my ‘dye bed’. Two colours of marigolds have started to bloom. I’ll probably dry a lot of these because I’ve had fun with the coreopsis and don’t really want a massive amount of orange wool! I’m hoping the darker marigolds produce a deeper colour.

The birds moved in swiftly whilst the dogs were away and demolished the rest of the raspberries. I must have picked at least five small bowls for breakfast though and I’ll try and separate out the brambles from the raspberries and make sure they are staked well again for next year. Gooseberries seem to take forever to properly ripen but it won’t be long before we can make jam. I’m hopeful it’ll be the non burnt variety this year. The plum tree has made a partial recovery and has a useful amount of fruit once more, it clearly loved being pruned although we did that at completely the wrong time. I’ll be totally in tune with the dye plants and the seasons but it’ll be a while before I remember what kind of jobs need doing when for the rest of the garden. At least I haven’t had to hack down the right hand hedgerow this year. The beech and laurel have grown to an impressive height and block the view to the new houses perfectly. I’ve left the height and only cut back the growth that comes into the garden. Beech provided a great dye colour and seems to be holding up well on my lightfast tests. We’ve got plenty of it so I’m pretty happy about that.

M has been a bit unwell lately, we thought it would be nothing that antibiotics wouldn’t solve but after two courses we had to pop along to the out of hours service on Saturday and that led to them deciding to administer the antibiotics intravenously. It’s always tricky to know when to seek further help with something, neither of us want to waste anyone’s time. He’s stocked up with newspapers, novels and crosswords and being supplied with lots of tea.

I pack all my walking into the pockets of time M is working. The rest of the time, which seems considerable; days off, weekends and holidays it’s so frustrating to give that up. As we strolled painfully slowly along the South Downs Way much older couples were striding ahead with walking poles and back packs and I was reminded of something I am missing out on. I clearly need to work much harder on getting him to accept that we need to compromise in a different way. Currently he thinks that a few long walks around some Lincolnshire farmer’s fields whilst he’s at work should be satisfactory. He either rants or sulks when I suggest he takes a flask, a chair and a book (he loves reading) and relaxes with a view if we happen to stumble across a beautiful walk on our travels.

I did at least manage to be assertive about spending our last day visiting The Ditchling Museum of Art and Craft. There’s an exhibition entitled ‘Women’s Work’ on until October, it focuses on women who designed and created in various mediums between the two world wars. It included items plant dyed by Ethel Mairet, block printing, weaving, bookbinding, pottery, ceramics. We arrived just in time for the guided talk, delivered by a very enthusiastic man and ironically seemed to be mainly about the work of Eric Gill. He did eventually explain the relevance but for a moment it was like being back on my graphic design course with another Gill fanatic. Needless to say this exhibition and the building it was housed in created my perfect day out and I think M enjoyed the letterpress exhibits and the coffee at least.

I never say much on the 200 mile drive home and I think M is used to that now. I like to mull over the week and try and commit it all to memory. Having a 95th birthday celebration for my Grandad is a very special thing. He’s an absolute legend; so incredibly well and fit but understandably in need of a good afternoon nap now and then. He was burgled just a few weeks ago. The burglar managed to slip a tool in through the letterbox and retrieve the keys. He entered the home whilst Grandad was sleeping and stole his watch, wallet, iPad and phone. At some stage something woke him and he got up to take a look around quickly realising that the front door was open and things missing. We just thank our lucky stars he didn’t wake up moments sooner. It’s shaken him very badly and although the police arrested someone for a couple of burglaries in the same road on the same night they didn’t have enough to prosecute him. There are no words to describe the low life that did this. The one thing you should at least have in this mad world is the right to sleep soundly in your own bed.

Since I started this post we’ve had a mini heatwave and also things have got a bit grim for M. It’s a case of having to make you feel worse before they can make you better, so he will be in for a few more days at least. I’m exhausted juggling everything on top of visits, not to mention I really don’t like going out on my own much. I’m a liability just buying groceries. Apparently yesterday a cashier told me she’d saved my loyalty card points and I said, no don’t bother that’s ok. Oops. I thought she’d asked me if I wanted to save them. Poor E, she gets the brunt of the problem sometimes, whereas I’m only embarrassed when she later tells me my mistake. It feels very much like being a single parent again even though the kids are old enough to look after themselves and help out. In practice E has a working week and J has a social life, sport and sleeps a lot but they are both helping in their own ways.

Natural dyeing is a bit of an all day affair so it’s been difficult to fit in around visits at the moment. I’m missing it. I’ve started off three solar dyeing jars and they seem to be working well. I’ve used three wool bases and they react quite differently. All have been mordanted with alum but one of them is more sensitive than the others so the colour absorbs more where it is in contact with the plant matter, whereas with the other two yarns it seems to be dyeing more evenly. I don’t think I’ll ever stop discovering new things about plant dyeing.