Ernie

We started watching all the classic car programmes a few years back when we acquired the camper van. (Nerdy I know). I think it was a naive hope that we’d pick up some restoration and maintenance tips. I’m not sure that has happened though we at least have a general idea of what might have gone wrong when the van starts playing up. Mostly though, watching classic car programmes throws up lots of discussions about dream cars. M doesn’t really have a burning desire to own a specific car so he’s been happy to go along with my two ‘burning desires’ namely the VWT2 camper van and a Morris Minor Traveller. I have no idea where the latter desire came from. Most owners seem to buy one because their Dad or Grandad had one but that’s not the case here. I don’t even remember them being on the roads. I think they were made from about 1953 to 1971 so even though I was born at the end of this bracket I don’t remember them being part of daily life.

Little over a week ago I finally found myself behind the wheel of one. I’ve never driven a Morris Minor or Traveller so I was really hoping my van driving experience would give me an idea of what to expect. I lurched out of the owner’s driveway to a steady stream of ‘do this do that, what are you doing, do this, do that’. Quite aside from the fact that none of it was helpful because I’m actually quite a capable driver, I can’t hear people unless I’m looking at them and there was no way I was taking my eyes off this narrow single lane country road with solid 6 foot high hedges on each side and more traffic than a London rush hour. I pulled up round the corner out of sight of the owner and offered the test drive up to he who knows better but it was declined. Once calm was restored I was able to mention that the clutch was most definitely not working and that we’d need to decide whether to take that on or decline the purchase. We’d already been over the whole car with a fine tooth comb and hadn’t found anything too alarming so we went back to the owner and negotiated a price that reflected a bit more work.

I don’t think I’d recommend adding in the stress of a 600 mile round trip, towing a car trailer and then having the unforeseen issue of a modern 4×4 overheating (easily fixed as it happens but not without major ranting in the middle lane of the motorway first). I’m incredibly practical and calm in a crisis but unfortunately M is not. I like to think this calmness comes from my Dad. We probably had more than one car drama but the one that springs to mind is a car that started to fill with thick white smoke, probably on a motorway but could have been a busy main road. Dad calmly drove to the inside lane and pulled over as far as he could. Told us calmly to get out. Calmly went back for the small black dog whose little face had appeared at a back window surrounded by white smoke. Told us all to stand back a little. I’ve no idea how it was resolved without mobile phones but no doubt he had to walk to the nearest sos phone. There might have been mumbled cross words but there was never any shouting. I mention this story from time to time but it has no effect whatsoever on the next emergency situation.

All that aside it was no mean feat driving all that way over two days and messing up our body clocks and eating patterns, not to mention having to park with the caravans and hgv’s every time we needed to stop which meant m having to negotiate some quite uneven tarmac to get to the amenities. I could not have towed a car myself and it’s lucky that M is such an expert at towing. We saw some awful examples of towing when we had a caravan including one caravan sliced in two like a can of sardines being opened by someone who had no idea what he had done when he got out of his car to inspect his parking.

There is so much paperwork involved in acquiring a new car and lots of bits and bobs to put right before I can truly enjoy Ernie. I took the sun visors down, sanded them, masked off the chrome and resprayed them a vintage white. They aren’t perfectly flat because they are 65 years old but they look a bit smarter now. I’ve taken the door pulls off and sorted out the sticky leaking glue from inside them with sticky stuff remover. Since they get handled a lot they were grubby so I gave them a good clean too, they now look as new as the rest of the blue vinyl in the car. I’ve trimmed some of the carpet back in places where it didn’t fit well. Eventually I will probably buy the proper fitted carpets for the whole car but at the moment the basic blue corded stuff is fine. The wood has been thickly varnished and not in a good way but it seems pretty sound and I’m happy to live with the lumpy varnish for as long as it protects the wood.

Ernie took part in our village Platinum Jubilee weekend, albeit in the rain. Kids loved the car and although the village seems to be more of an MG owners village he did get quite a lot more attention than the MG’s. I don’t think we will be doing anymore car show appearances though, Ernie is exactly as described in the ad ‘tidy but not a show car’. I just wanted a runner for daily use, one that would fit the dogs in nicely and be a bit of fun to drive. I think Ernie fits the bill perfectly.

The dogs have established the pecking order when it comes to boot or back seat. Riley really doesn’t enjoy the amount of bouncing around the pups do when they get in any vehicle so I knew he’d be happy with the back seat arrangement. What I hadn’t expected was him refusing to get out on our second walk of the day. We pulled up in our usual lane, I tipped the seat forward, the pups were already out and sprinting off into the distance and Riley showed no interest in jumping out at all. Eventually I left the door open and the seat tilted up and figured if he wanted to come he would. We didn’t go out of sight and he was having a lovely snooze in the sun when we returned. I’d taken a flask so I had a cup of tea whilst still giving him the option of hopping out for a stretch but no, quite happy staying where he was thank you. When we got home he hopped out happy as Larry and into the house. This is a thirteen year old dog who knows his own mind! M said it was probably something to do with the three layers of crochet blankets!

Ernie gave me quite the scare early this week. There were very few signs that anything was wrong with the brakes. I’d taken the dogs to the woods that morning, it’s probably a 10 mile round trip, no problems at all. After dropping the dogs home I set off to meet Mum half way for a coffee and catch up and decided to take the scenic route (thank goodness). About half way there I approached a small t junction and the car just sailed right through with my foot pressing the brake to the floor. There really wasn’t time to think about pulling on the handbrake, it all happened so quickly and was so unexpected. I managed to stop the car round the corner with the handbrake. It was only whilst waiting for the RAC and watching the Range Rovers, BMW’s, Porsche’s and a Maserati go by that I realised how lucky I had been not to collide with an expensive car. Ernie ended up at the garage a little earlier than his clutch was booked for and the brake part can’t be picked up locally so that took a few extra days but it’s just part of owning an old car and an inconvenience I can easily cope with. The sheer joy of driving it around outweighs these small teething problems! M says I haven’t stopped smiling since we bought the car!